Reflection on Race & The "Other"

I walk in this world identifying as a muti-racial woman. As the daughter of a 1st generation German (sort of Jew) and a multi-racial mom, my privilege comes from the tone of my skin, the education of my parents, and a life not too disturbed by complex trauma. I have, for the most part, felt safe, had access to many things that often get taken for granted. But on the other end, I struggle(d) with my identity, I don't belong to any one category, and until recently, their wasn't even a box for me to check. I had to choose whichever one felt right in the moment.

In light of many events that are taking place, and the history of oppression that permeates our society, I was forced to take a deep look at who I am in these spaces, and how I contribute and are effected by race relations in this moment in time. It's something I've always grappled with, not well. As I age and (hopefully) get wiser, my identity and how I understand it, changes.

I have always been an advocate for "the other". Often forgetting myself in the process. What does it mean to be a multi-racial female, who also has some of the privileges of white folks? How does the way I act and speak affect others? How do I grow and process so I can help my multi-racial daughter by setting an example. This brings me the most anxiety. I never spoke about these things with my mom until today, and only on the surface, as these conversations take time, care and continual reflection. She grew up when it was even less accepted to be truly the "other". Not one full race, did not carry the language of any of those races and was only taught to have the ego be proud of one of those races.

I was luckier than that. My parents made sure I was aware of the many cultures of our country, as well as the injustices that "the others" face. I didn't realize that part of that included me, too. It wasn't just my older brother being stopped and questioned by the cops for no reason, or white men disrespecting my mom, or my younger brother's peers spitting derogatory slang at him. It was trying to fit into a box that wasn't for me. It was me feeling alone for a long time, even with lots of friends. Feeling uncomfortable around too many white folks, who felt comfortable saying the things they only said behind closed doors. It is being "mansplained",  sexually harassed/date-raped, be-littled, made fun of...and that's only what happened to me.

I had to let go of all the trauma of my ancestors. I let it go because it weighed me down, and didn't allow me to grow in certain aspects of my life. Multi-generations of abuse, addiction, abandonment...and to top it off colonization (and the Holocaust). Their was a battle I was fighting for my ancestors. Carrying their pain and suffering, so I could feel okay with my privileged life. But I realized that they would be happier if I lived my life without their pain.

But that still leaves me with myself. My own process. My own pain. Growing past divorce, and the adrenaline of survival that I lived in for almost a decade. I am lucky that I have a partner that helped me out of that space. This work cannot be done alone. But today I needed to reflected. Today, I had to get my feelings and thoughts down. Crying will no longer cut it. Being angry will no longer cut it. What is my next move? What will be my direct action?

How do I connect when I feel I don't belong in certain spaces due to some of the privledges I benefit from? I am always self-conscious and feel that I always need to explain myself..."I am not white".  While at the same time needing to check-in with myself on how my privilege comes out. And although I am here reflecting and thinking about these things, I also can't help but think, that's nothing compared to my other POC family.

Shutting down emotionally to protect self from racist situations, knowing where the exits are in all spaces, having to ask others constantly to not touch your hair, to have to constantly explain people's privilege and how it affects you...it goes on and on. I don't want to take away from those experiences, and know part of my privilege is not having to do, or deal with any of those things. These experiences have created resilient folks, but it doesn't mean we shouldn't work towards a more "woke" society. At least within where we work and play, those spaces need to thrive on diversity, equity and inclusion. If they are not, which in my experience, are not at all "safe spaces" (which according to Dr. Darnisa Amante, is not a thing that actually exists. Check her out, her organization is amazing!), then what are we to do?

My commitment is to actively be aware of my privilege and create and space for myself to navigate what it means to be the, almost, 40 year old me. I need to be creative. I need to exercise not just my mind, but body. And I will be the best I am able for my daughter and family.

Soy hawaiano puertorriqueño, filipino y alemán (judío). Ich bin Hawaiian Puerto Ricaner, Filipino und Deutsch (Jude). ʻO wauʻo Puerto Rican Puʻuki, Filipino a me Kelemānia.  אני הוואי פורטו ריקה, פיליפינית וגרמנית (יהודי). I am Hawaiian Puerto Rican, Philipino and German (Jew).


I am proud of who I am and have become. I give Thanks and Praises to the Most High, my ancestors and family for guiding me along my journey. Thank you internet for giving me the space to be heard without being seen. To speak and not feel judged, and for allowing others the same.

Photo Essay Continued...

Here we are, a year or so, after starting my photo essay on Multicultural Women in the Bay Area. I just re-read my first entry about it...and, well, I was not impressed. I realized I needed to re-evaluate and re-write that entry and move forward! (side note...click on the links! It will take you to the parts of my blog that will expand more on what I am speaking about)

This photo essay, like many things in life, has taken on a mind of it's own! To re-cap, for those of you new to what I am speaking of; the goal of the photo essay is to capture women in their Goddess essence, while being apart of everyday American lifestyle. I will do this by creating connections with our personal Goddess and cultures, to reveal the complexity of our cross-culture experiences and how reconnecting to our ancestors' rituals we can connect with our high selves. I will paint with film. If women were/are interested, I had them answer the following questions, and take the survey:

1. How do you stay connected to your heritage?
2. Tell me six words that describe you.
3. Take this survey, look under the notes tab.

As I sitting here thinking about the essay, I realized that I am surrounded by many Kali's.  So, do I make the essay about Kali and her place in American Society? Or do I just take more photos? Take more photos, of course! But I must also realize that something in our American Society creates more Kali's than Aphrodite's or Hecates.

Kali. Hindu Goddess. Creator & Destroyer.

 If you're interested, or want more information, please email me (do.creations408@gmail.com)! I am looking for a few more Goddess to be apart of my essay. I will have my FIRST solo show next year, exhibiting these photos.

Remember to honor your Goddess everyday!

The New Mama

We recently became parents. We are now blessed with a baby girl, Gabriella. She has pushed us even harder on our creative grind, making sure we have what we need and then some. She has reminded me that my art, our art, is such a big part of our lives. I need to do more than just think about it, but create on a more regular basis. I can come up with all types of excuses why I haven't. Although, some of them are valid, such as recovering after giving birth, but now that I have, and now have a good schedule, it's time! I think I may start with Gaby's baby book, which is still sitting in the closet half finished.

We all have passions that we often push to the side. To truly be fulfilled I believe people need to indulge in their passions, at least once a day, in any little way possible. It may sound crazy, but by keeping a neat and (somewhat) organized home, I am able to feel more creative. By organizing the clutter and keeping a neat space, you allow that energy to flow. Not to mention you have space to do whatever your passion is. And, if you're like us and make part of your living with your passion, intertwine your social marketing into your daily routine. It will force you to think and do about your passion and your own creative grind.

I really enjoy blogging, and when I don't blog for awhile, I think about it often. So to feed my writing appetite, I do a monthly newsletter for our creative services company, New Edge. Not only do I get to do a blog style writing, but it promotes our business as well.

So I dare you, to do one thing a day that you're passionate about, even if it's for 10 minutes. It will help you feel rejuvenated and enjoy life more. Life's too short to not do what you love!

Say hello to Baby Gabriella!

The Creative Grind

I recently opened a new etsy shop. Cali Girl Creations. I really wanted to be able to sell something that I am passionate about and can have fun with. It would also help if it didn't cost me monetarily. So I thought about it for a couple weeks before I took any steps in creating the store. We just moved and I realized I have A LOT of stuff. More than I needed to hang onto. Then it hit me...create an etsy store specializing in vintage cameras and other vintage/kitschy items. And the store was born!

It doesn't seem like work when you're doing something you enjoy. Part of being an entreprenuer is being creative how you make money. No one likes to struggle and it's hard going through the day doing something that makes you miserable. So you have to find a balance. In addition to our businesses (New Edge Creative Services, The Tracks, Reyes Muertos Klothing...), I also teach middle school art. It's a job I enjoy and it allows us to push the businesses further, because of the "extra income". I put extra income in quotations, because what that means is we put a large portion of what we make back into our businesses. It takes money to make money. We make a lot of sacrifices to make what we do possible. Like anything worth doing, it takes a lot of hard work and discipline. We make coffee at home, limit how often we go out to eat (and out on the town), and many other little things that make a big difference. What would you do to live your dream?

One of my first painted canvas'!

I love being able to take off in the middle of the week, and work all day on Saturday. I like to be able to have control of my life, and not live by other people's rules. To the hell with rules. To live by what makes your soul sing, using life experience to make the right choices, and having a healthy and supportive business/life partner makes the daily grind that much more magical.

Our four legged son, Chubbz. :)

It only takes one step at a time to get a business off the ground. Use your talents, resources and know how to make it happen. You can start small, test it out, find out what works with your friends and family, and never give up!

Till  next time. Face a fear and live in the moment!

Learning, Living, Growing

The blogs I have been writing off and on for the last couple of years have been a blessings to me. It enables me to express what I go through as an entrepreneur. It has not been easy.

Even though things can be ruff, their is beauty in everything, everywhere.

I have been (trying) to reflect on the last six months of 2012. We just moved, and it was a difficult move, both emotionally and physically. It drained me weeks before it even happened. It started me thinking about...well everything. And, I can't lie, this year has been rough. Being a successful entrepreneur, and not just in the monetary sense, takes a lot of self reflection and growth. When I was younger, I loved change and reflection. I realized the older I get, the harder it is to let go of those things that would help me grow. My own bullshit gets in the way of progress/reflection. It's hard to create new patterns of being, when the old ways no longer work, and you know they don't. It's kind of like this process I'm going through of getting rid of things that don't fit in our new place. It's been a task of letting go.

When I speak of my experiences here, and how I deal (dealt) with them, it comes from a real place. I am constantly taking my own advise, and seeking guidance from my partner in life and business. Making sacrifices is always apart of the daily struggle and together we make it work.

It's hard work to keep a positive outlook when sometimes things look bleak, or you're feeling defeated. But then those small moments of clarity come, and it rejuvenates me. It gives me hope, even if for a short while. Giving up is never an option, but sometimes, I do want to hide under a rock. Then, I realize that everything will still be there, once I'm out from below my rock. How does one deal with oneself and everything around her? Sadly, I've fallen off that wagon. What works best for me is exercise and a healthy diet. Today, I dedicated myself to that change. When I eat healthy (less red meat, more fruits and veggies, and no complex sugars), and exercise, my mind, body and soul feel better. I am able to communicate better, as well as feel good about myself. Anything worth doing is going to be hard, so grin and bear it. My mantra. Praying, meditation and quiet time, also do the trick. And I often "don't have time" to do those things, but it's an important part of my being to find my inner peace everyday. 

One of my "happy places" is doing photography

If you get anything from my blogs, I hope it's inspiration. Know that you are not alone in your struggles. Whether you're an entrepreneur, 9-5-er, stay at home parent, or student, we all have the same struggles in one form or another. It's important for us to be compassionate, loving and honest to ourselves and those around us. 

Till next time, do something loving for yourself.

Follow @Cr84empowerment

Spring Time Writing Revial

I often sit and think about what I want to write about. I daydream about insightful posts that inspire and motivate those who read it. The only problem is making time to do so. So today is that day!

Paz (peace)

 I began my blogging career with SF Etsy a couple years ago. I was (am) The Savvy Entrepreneur. I would blog about my adventures as an entrepreneur, speaking more on the social-emotional aspect and my learning's on the way. I'm happy to say the blog is still going strong, without me. Sadly, sometimes things get pushed to the side, even though I enjoyed what I was doing. 

Blogging re-inspired my love of writing. It allowed me to express what I was going through to folks who understood or needed guidance. Being an entrepreneur is no easy task. It takes ganas, or the desire to achieve your highest potential. I wrote about this in one of my first posts for SF Etsy. I always spoke my truths and offered eye candy to entice the readers further.

Eye candy. Artwork in progress

Take a moment, and read this blog, which was written about two years ago to the date, and reflect on your stamp in the world. Whether you're doing art, customer service, community work, etc, you are making an impression on the world. If we can collectively do good in a time of greed, dishonesty and financial turmoil, we can help create a better world for the youth to come.

The Savvy Entrepreneur <--Click to read.

Till next time, hug a loved one.
Follow @Cr84empowerment

New Beginings

I look back at the last 5 years of my life and I can't help but be proud of my accomplishments. Although at times life was/is hard, and giving up sometimes crossed my mind, I am always reminded that it's the little things that keep me going. The embrace from my man, the wet kisses from our bulldog, the unique and delicious coffee from Barefoot (that I drink as I type), the smiles and support from our families and realizing that life is beautiful. Having our own business has allowed us to do what we love and make a living off of it.

Chubbz, our English Bulldog.

Teaching art is still apart of my daily hustle, even though I tried to quit. After a school year of full-time teaching, with not being properly supported by my superior, and giving up part of my own life, I decided it was not worth the stress or the sacrifices. We decided that we'd focus full-time on our bussinesses. Our studio space came to us the very last day of work. The keys in hand, we started a new journey. Full of art and, of course, sacrifice, we pushed for the dream. As the school year started up again, I was asked to come back for one day a week (four hours). As a working artist, every little bit helps. So I was happy to be able to go back into the classroom. It gave me a sense of purpose, and allowed me to still feel the joy of teaching. As it turned out, I was needed more often. Taking over the position of art teacher, once again, but part time (four days a week), was my destiny.

My students do some of the most amazing artwork. I like to think I inspire some of that!

Learning to go with the flow and accept your destiny (speaking in the most positive terms), is an important part of being happy. If I was unable to accept that teaching is apart of who I am, just as owning our own business, and being successful is apart of our destiny, I would not be able to find that space that allows me to feel free.

Photography makes me feel free, especially when I'm using a film camera featuring one of my favorite characters!

What do you do that allows you to be free? Do it today. Don't waste time. Life is short. Love yourself, so that you can love others. Till next time.

Visual Teasers 3

It's been a long time since I've been able to do a blog. It's been a little crazy with opening up The Tracks and working on the businesses full time. It's never an easy task to make the move from working full-time for others to working full-time for yourself. It's pertinent to success to stay level headed, don't be discouraged and always maintain a level of maturity. I've had to grow up a little to stay on top of my game. I admit that I am a little bit of a brat. I often have to check myself back into the game and leave that little girl where she belongs...in the past. :) We all have things we must work on.

The Tracks, in progress.

That being said, I have not had time to write my blog. It's a luxury that we couldn't afford. Time is money and when it's not, I'm sleeping. Okay, not that serious, but when I'm exhausted it's hard to write (let alone communicate). So today, I have a couple exciting things for you!

First, is I was able to do another photo shoot for my photo essay on Multicultural women in the Bay Area. I was honored to be able to photograph another entreprenuer. We met through a mutual acquaintance and ever since we've stayed in contact. If you're into Pachuca culture, you'll not only appreciate the photos, but also her business, Pachuca Cosmetics. Besides my Hello Kitty Mac makeup, this is my go-to beauty supplies. 

This Kali Goddess, in her true nature, was down for anything, even getting up at the butt-crack of dawn! Hoping for a sunrise, but instead got some beautiful morning light. Enjoy these visual teasers!

Our location, early morning.

Kali is almost always shown with skulls. The cornstalks are representative of this Goddess' ancestors.

Kali always adorns skulls.

I am still looking for other cultures to be represented in this photo essay. If you feel connected to your culture and want to share it with others in a spiritually artistic way, please contact me!

Till next time, which I hope is not too long from now. Enjoy yourself. Do something that give you happiness and share it with someone who deserved it!

Starting your own business

I've had many jobs. I've worked since I was 14 and each job I got was a step towards making more money and having more skills. I've worked at Sanrio (Hello Kitty), Jiffy Lube, as a telephone operator, data entry, sandwich maker, secretary, sales assistant...the list goes on. After many long years of working for others, and then meeting my partner in life and business, I realized that I didn't have to work for others. I could work for myself, doing what I enjoy! 

A photo I took for Eternia's last mixtape ablum. This is me doing one of the things I love...taking photos!

I believe that small business will help save our country. Every business started out as an idea, and then grew into something bigger. Apple, McDonalds, Obey, all started out as an idea, and, with the help of others, initiative and funding, created a worldwide known business (not to mention mucho dinero). 

When we first started Divine Orchid, we had a different name, and we started out doing custom dresses. Here is a photo from our first fashion show!

Everyone has the ability to have their own business, but it takes hard work, dedication and creativity. Don't worry about the "bad" economy. It's only bad for those who do not know how to create something out of nothing. Think outside the box and be positive about your situation. (Don't let those voices in your head, talk you out of it!)


First things, first. Do you have a business idea? Big or small, an idea takes time to flourish. Ladies, a great place to start is Woman's Initiative. 

Woman's Initiative Refresh & Renew Event.
Graduate Leadership Council 09-10

"Women's Initiative for Self Employment is a Bay Area non-profit which provides high-potential, lower-income women the training, resources and on-going support to start and grow their business. The business management training, technical assistance, and financial services we provide — in English and Spanish — improve the quality of life for the women we serve, their families and our communities." 


I am an alumni of the program. I was apart of the first English speaking class in San Jose. Now they have their own building and a long list of woman entrepreneurs! The program consists of two classes a week (3 hours a day) for 11 weeks. It also includes homework and it's only $100! This class is a great introduction to help you think and begin to start your own business. It will give you basic knowledge of the laws, marketing and putting together a business plan (which is needed to graduate from the program). But it doesn't stop there. They also offer continued training and connect events, which introduce you to other woman entrepreneurs in the area that have successful businesses, or help run them. 


Now is the time. Every great life move takes sacrifice. Excuses will always be there. Take a chance, believe in yourself and good things will come. Here is a small list of woman who took the chance and Woman's Initiative helped them along the way:


Nica Celly: one of my favorite local designers. 
Wholesome Hounds: tasty treats for the dogs we love!
Positive Diana: empowering women through workshops and self growth (find her on Facebook!)
The Auxiliary Group: Personal Assistant and Concierge 
California Solar Screens: Solar Screen Company
Happy Girl Kitchen: Organic foods and workshops


Till next time, do one things that scares you a day!

Going for Tea

Golden Gate Bridge. View from Golden Gate Park. By: H. Ehrlich

One of the many things I love about doing art is that it's like meditation. When I am focused in on the art I am doing, I am calm, enjoying myself and free. I am only restricted by my own fears and insecurities. When I rise to the occasions, and not allow those things to get in my way, my artwork thrives, shoot, I thrive. In business it's the same way. When I do not allow my fear of achieving my goals get the best of me, I kick ass. I also am learning to become a better sales person, which means I have to let go of my insecurities of not being the stereotypical salesman. I have to learn to either be okay with my random awkward moments, or stop them from happening (which tend to happen when I'm nervous). I have to believe in my ability to sell my product or service, because it's okay to be assertive about what your passionate about. It's a daily struggle.

Lily Pads. Taken by my man's 6 year old sister!

I have my days, even moments,  where I don't feel like trying. It's so much easier to deal with things with aggression (aka anger). Any day I am subject to my anger. It sometimes permeates within me, and I react without "thinking". I am constantly trying to get it under control. To tell you honesty, it is my greatest weakness. I'm still trying to figure out how to tame it. 

Monterey Bay Aquarium. by: H. Ehrlich

When thinking about what to write for the blog, I thought about a conversation I had with a fellow woman in business. She said she was having a tough week, but realized it was all for her growth in the end. We both have similar focus' in different fields. We believe in the empowerment of women. She decided to create a workshop to discuss what one of her struggles is. She said it best when she said, it feels good to be vulnerable with people whom you trust and share a mutual experience. In that idea, I thought I'd write, briefly, about what one of my struggles is. I often feel ashamed and frustrated with myself for my anger. I realize that it's going to take some ganas and swallowing of pride, to help me tame the monster.

It's an evolution of self  By: H. Ehrlich

Till next week, tame your own monster, then take it out for tea.

Growing and Expanding

It's been awhile since I wrote a blog. Sometimes I think too much to sit down and type out thoughts interesting enough to have people read them. hahah. So today I'm ready!

We are in the process of opening up a store, The Tracks, an urban boutique and muralist supply, to be exact. It's culminating all the work Carlos and I have been doing to date. This is no easy task. Opening and owning a business, as well as maintaining a relationship takes great patience, maturity and communication. It's been a ride of constant tests, frustrations and beautiful creations. It has taken many life lessons, and hard work, from both of us, previous to meeting each other to get to this place. And now, we learn and grow together; as partners, lovers and revolutionary minded artists, because we believe in ourselves and each other.

By Carlos.

By Helene (me!) Shout out to my model Gaby,  you ROCK, girl!

I believe that we are all artists. We just have to find that creative process for ourselves. We begin life as artists, as young children we create all day. Then at some point it gets cut off, someone tells us to stop wasting our time, or out of pure necessity the creative process stops. Some of us are able to adapt and still have art and the creative process apart of our daily lives.

Being an entrepreneur should be second nature to artists. If one wants to make a living out of their art, whether paintings, clothing, decorating, ectera, one must adapt to the times. Artists will never be out of a job. Why? Because we have the creative skills to adapt to the changing markets. And if you match that with a positive attitude, integrity and hard work, you can never lose!  Don't get me wrong, being an artist, although a wonderful and beautiful thing, takes hard work and some serious ganas.

A re-fashioned dress from Divine Orchid (Carlos and I's woman's clothing line).

Owning a business is also a creative process. Often we have to make something out of nothing. We brainstorm creative ways to reach our target markets, and do it in a way where we can really connect with them on a personal level. Great customer service, and sales, really comes down to that, your personal connection to people. In order for it to be sincere, one must be okay with themselves. Everything that we do is not only a creative process, but a process of growth. We cannot separate the two, for when success comes, other issues will arise. Carlos and I are doing all this hard work, not only so we can do what we enjoy forever, but for our family, friends, future children, and, most importantly, for our happiness. 

Photoshoot with Shaun Ross of Lyrical Discipline for Dead Kings Collective in our print shop, New Edge.

 We have to also remember those around us that are apart of this journey. Making new friends is apart of this process. We've connected with folks from different backgrounds and we all help each other learn and grow.

Eli of Since 88 is someone who is one of those people. He has become more of a brother than a friend. Another creative and hard working dude, who is also apart of The Tracks becoming a reality. We've been doing collaborations for the last couple of years, everything from t-shirts to murals. Together, we created the Dead Kings Collective.

By Eli. Can be contacted at: elilippert@hotmail.com

Often times those folks are right in front of us. Randy has been in San Jose puttin' in the work for awhile, and is also a partner with The Tracks. Alisha, Randy's lady, is apart of this creative process and together, we're learning and growing as artists and entrepreneurs. 

By Randy

Alisha doing her thing!

 Like owning a business and being a creative individual, happiness comes with hard work. It's about having those hard (and truthful) conversations with ourselves and others. It's confronting an uncomfortable situation and saying our truths, it's being assertive, loving and compassionate. We can't do these things without self care, emotionally and physically.

We can achieve anything we put our minds to. Let's put our minds to love and see where that takes us!
Follow @Cr84empowerment

Visual Teasers. Part II

We met, we talked, we photographed. Kali is always full of wonder and surprises. She came ready with props and we were off on our journey of visual storytelling...

Till next time...smile often and feel your greatness.

Always in Creation

My man and I are in the process of opening up an urban boutique and muralist supply spot, here in San Jose. The art space is currently a "graffiti yard",  and we've been having artists from all over the Bay roll through and bless our walls. It's an amazing process. I've been photographing the space since we first moved in. It's good for the soul to see a beautiful piece of artwork up, then painted over, and another, equally beautiful piece, to replace it. It's a good practice in letting go and allowing other good things come into your life. Our new space, named "The Tracks", is a testament to that. It's us letting go (we decided I would quit my teaching job and work full-time on the business), and allowing this to come into our life. The last day of my job, we got the keys to The Tracks!

The keys!

The entrance.

We have a loft! My office will be up there. SWEET.

Quitting my job allowed me to relax on a level where I have extra energy to spare. I have more time to devote to my photo essay, and do art that I've been meaning to get to. It also means I make more connects with people and family. It's been a blessings.  It's also been very liberating and eye opening. It's the reminder that, I have the power to achieve greatness. Understanding and harnessing that energy is very powerful, it's almost overwhelming. But, it has enabled me to find the best part of me, in me, everyday.

Close up of a piece at The Tracks. By Carlos Rodriguez

I think back to times when I was not feeling so empowered, and it's great to validate me. I have to always be in the process of evolving and being aware of my space in the world. That is what much of my photo essay is about. Women taking a moment to validate themselves in the present while acknowledging the past. Our pasts, dictate who we are now (positive or negative), and it's up to use to use that knowledge, that experience, into something positive. I was reminded of this at my last Goddess meeting. It was a reminder about people's resilience to overcome any obstacles, and, more so, how many of us share these obstacles, these tests, that make us who we are today. The woman that I've spoken to, all have something in common besides their sex, they are being the woman they've always wanted to be.

A piece at The Tracks that is no longer there. By Carlos Rodriguez

I am excited for the upcoming photo shoots and opening of The Tracks. Stay tuned, cause ya'll are invited to the opening!

You got the FIRST online sneak peak. I take care of ya'll!

Till next time, smile often and breath deeply. <3

Memories, Reminders and Life

Remember a couple posts ago I told you I *may* one day share my poem with you? Well, whether you remember or not, you're in for a special treat!

Some eye candy. Art by Artist One, Color and yours truly.

I need reminders to keep me on my track of happiness and balance. We all stumble and fall, and it's up to us to pick ourselves back up and start again. The book, "The Little Engine that Could" comes to mind. When I have these moments of "ah-HA" and bring myself back to my happy place, art comes from those times. This poem came from some research I was doing for my photo documentary on Women in Hip Hop. I was reading Joan Morgan's "When Chickheads Come Home to Roost: My Life as a Hip Hop Feminist". My "ah-HA" moment came from me realizing why the word Feminism by itself was not a comfortable label for me. It came with all kind of other innuendos that I was sick and tired of hearing about. After reading Morgan's book, this is what I had to say.

Contemplating where I belong in a society where my actions, sometimes labeled as feminist, move me to scream and kick yelling, "MY FEMINISM IS MINE TO DEFINE!".

I let my cleave see the sun and my heals click on the pavement, as I embrace my feminine side without loosing the power to control my life.

Learning to be vulnerable as I process and change my lack of effective communication, why must I dwell in the affliction of the womb which I once descended?

Seeking harmony where I sometimes loose myself in relationships where I cover my insecurities with passionate love for my man, but keeping myself at a safe distance so I can act out my emotions, and not take responsibility for the loss of my emotional control. 

To be with me is a fatal blessings...my passionate love and high expectations for myself as well as you...my partner, lover, friend...

Can you be strong for me, while I'm strong for you?

I try not to hold onto my fear as a shield, but those fears manifest themselves into the confusion of life and past behaviors surface.

I must separate myself from those that crutch my love, as my crutches can only fit me.

Trying not to drown in my strength, for my weakness is fearing the side of me that needs another.

I can feel whole without someone by my side, but why should I void out companionship if I live to love?

Fueling my desire to be seen and heard without being judged by my clothes, my politics, my education...understanding that I am a woman to be reckoned with, I do deserve the love and understanding of a good man.

We can be mirrors of each other as we navigate life. 

As Jill Scott once said, "Let's take a long walk," for our movement will break barriers of what it means to be known as one, improving on the relations of our cultures, our genders, our love...

Let's build on the love that is needed to produce the family that hold sacred our ancestors struggle.

For our resistance to the status-quo will stimulate our development of our youth to breed consciousness.

No longer wanting to bear the scars of our parent's choices, we'll swim freely remembering our times as muses to those once loved, as we create history for our children to cultivate into beings that do not fear love, faith and passion, let them bask in the blessings of Yemaya, and let us see the truth in the matters of the divine.

I am living without regret, but the love of a good man is hard to forget.

I pray that some day we'll find ourselves in this world that remembers pain as a medal, but fears the scars of the soul.

Being vulnerable to the elements dose not make us worthy, for our worth in s in the wisdom we derive from our pain.

Dedicated to my lover, partner, and best friend...te quiero mucho. Till next time, love, love, love.

Our NEW art space and soon to be boutique!

Meet the Goddess'

Every week I've been meaning to do a blog. Each week went by and I guess I didn't really have anything to say. I'm happy to say, I have words! The photo essay is building momentum and I'm excited to have some shoots coming up soon!

The fabulous woman I have met have manifested into these Goddesses.

Kali

Kali is the destroyer and creator, she is not a woman to mess with. Today's Kali is a business woman. She knows what she wants and she does what she needs to get it done. She is beautiful, strong, intelligent and family bonds are tight. She remembers and keeps sacred the sacrifices her family and ancestors have done before her, and culture is an important part of her life. Her style is unique and sexy, and her business is a reflection of all of that.

 Pachuca Cosmetics is Kali's business.

Sailor Hecate, Dead Moon Senshi. Dedicated to my friend, Sara (another amazing artist!)

Today's Hecate is still spiritual and connected to her Goddess roots. She works with computers during the day and moonlights as a Priestess. Alters decorate her home, giving homage to Goddesses in all aspects of life. Friendly animals, friends and family bless her home, and her love for art and bees keeps her happy.

 Sankofa. A symbol that means, "it is not wrong to go back for that which you have forgotten".

I choose to use this symbol to represent the first Goddess that helped inspire the photo-shoot because she stated that her connection to it is strong and it fit perfectly into the overall theme. She doesn't just embody one Goddess, she embodies Kali, Hecate and Aphrodite in one. She is the destroyer and the creator, spiritually connected and knows love and beauty beyond the physical form. She keeps her ancestors and roots close and works hard everyday to bring that light onto others. She stays true to herself and knows the time and place for fun and seriousness.

I am overwhelmed with the positive response I have received for this photo essay. I am excited to take the photographs and look forward to sharing them with you.

Till next time, love yourself a little more everyday!

Kali. Creator & Destroyer

Kali is a Hindu Goddess, and her roots go far back in time. She was first heard of in 400 A.D. She is a creator and a destroyer, she is not one to mess with. Although she is now a Hindu goddess, she predates the Hindu religion. Her origins in Hinduism are from the great goddess Durga-in one legend she springs from Durga's forehead to help her defeat her enemies. She is known as the forceful aspect of the Durga, and appears in legends of battles as a bloodthirsty and ruthless fighter in her destroyer aspect.

Goddess Kali 1770

However, the other side of destruction is creation, and in her creative aspect Kali is credited with creating the Sanskrit alphabet and painting the symbols which is written on the skulls that hang around her neck. By creating Sanskrit, the forerunner of Indo-European languages, she brings a whole new world of experience into being.

My goddess energy is Kali. After many years of learning about myself, my capabilities and my weaknesses, I have been able to find my inner most goddess. I no longer fear my ability to be and do greatness. I live the way I see fit for myself and those I love. It's interesting that my goddess energy can be misinterpreted as one of evil destruction. I think of it as, it takes a lot of fight to accomplish your goals, you have to learn to either live with yourself, or keep creating better versions of yourself. You can say I am constantly "killing" the versions of myself that I see unhealthy, or needing to grow. Like Kali I am unafraid of the darkness in my nature. I understand how it may come off to others, but I understand that darkness can bring many other things, seeds of life grow in the darkness. Kali is the archetype of the powerful mother, she creates life within her body, but will kill without mercy to protect her young. It's a balance that Kali, and Aphrodite alike, struggle with. Living outside of societies norms, to live out what makes you breath, can sometimes makes other uncomfortable, and at times, I am guilty of not being aware of my power and it's affect on others. 

 In my photo essay I want to have a conversation with the viewer about these balances we face. We are Americans, but have ties to other places and cultures, and still want to stay connected to our Mother Land. Whether we participate in cultural rites, or immerse ourselves in the ever changing cultures of our own community, we always need to harness the part of ourselves that makes us amazing beings with the ability to birth life. It's not always easy, especially with the demands of today's society. We are constantly divided by our financial, race, gender, education, family structure, etc, so we are ever morphing and changing to meet the demands of everyday life. But we still find those moments of peace, tranquility and light. I will recreate those moments, vintage film camera in hand. So come with me on this journey. Meet some of these amazing women, who's goddess energies come from Aphrodite, Diana the Hunter, Demeter, Athena, Hecate, and Kali. You'll meet them here on this blog and get to go on my adventure of bringing the goddess to the concrete jungle.

Make it a great week! Remember to breath and smile often.