Photo Essay Continued...

Here we are, a year or so, after starting my photo essay on Multicultural Women in the Bay Area. I just re-read my first entry about it...and, well, I was not impressed. I realized I needed to re-evaluate and re-write that entry and move forward! (side note...click on the links! It will take you to the parts of my blog that will expand more on what I am speaking about)

This photo essay, like many things in life, has taken on a mind of it's own! To re-cap, for those of you new to what I am speaking of; the goal of the photo essay is to capture women in their Goddess essence, while being apart of everyday American lifestyle. I will do this by creating connections with our personal Goddess and cultures, to reveal the complexity of our cross-culture experiences and how reconnecting to our ancestors' rituals we can connect with our high selves. I will paint with film. If women were/are interested, I had them answer the following questions, and take the survey:

1. How do you stay connected to your heritage?
2. Tell me six words that describe you.
3. Take this survey, look under the notes tab.

As I sitting here thinking about the essay, I realized that I am surrounded by many Kali's.  So, do I make the essay about Kali and her place in American Society? Or do I just take more photos? Take more photos, of course! But I must also realize that something in our American Society creates more Kali's than Aphrodite's or Hecates.

Kali. Hindu Goddess. Creator & Destroyer.

 If you're interested, or want more information, please email me (do.creations408@gmail.com)! I am looking for a few more Goddess to be apart of my essay. I will have my FIRST solo show next year, exhibiting these photos.

Remember to honor your Goddess everyday!

The New Mama

We recently became parents. We are now blessed with a baby girl, Gabriella. She has pushed us even harder on our creative grind, making sure we have what we need and then some. She has reminded me that my art, our art, is such a big part of our lives. I need to do more than just think about it, but create on a more regular basis. I can come up with all types of excuses why I haven't. Although, some of them are valid, such as recovering after giving birth, but now that I have, and now have a good schedule, it's time! I think I may start with Gaby's baby book, which is still sitting in the closet half finished.

We all have passions that we often push to the side. To truly be fulfilled I believe people need to indulge in their passions, at least once a day, in any little way possible. It may sound crazy, but by keeping a neat and (somewhat) organized home, I am able to feel more creative. By organizing the clutter and keeping a neat space, you allow that energy to flow. Not to mention you have space to do whatever your passion is. And, if you're like us and make part of your living with your passion, intertwine your social marketing into your daily routine. It will force you to think and do about your passion and your own creative grind.

I really enjoy blogging, and when I don't blog for awhile, I think about it often. So to feed my writing appetite, I do a monthly newsletter for our creative services company, New Edge. Not only do I get to do a blog style writing, but it promotes our business as well.

So I dare you, to do one thing a day that you're passionate about, even if it's for 10 minutes. It will help you feel rejuvenated and enjoy life more. Life's too short to not do what you love!

Say hello to Baby Gabriella!

Learning, Living, Growing

The blogs I have been writing off and on for the last couple of years have been a blessings to me. It enables me to express what I go through as an entrepreneur. It has not been easy.

Even though things can be ruff, their is beauty in everything, everywhere.

I have been (trying) to reflect on the last six months of 2012. We just moved, and it was a difficult move, both emotionally and physically. It drained me weeks before it even happened. It started me thinking about...well everything. And, I can't lie, this year has been rough. Being a successful entrepreneur, and not just in the monetary sense, takes a lot of self reflection and growth. When I was younger, I loved change and reflection. I realized the older I get, the harder it is to let go of those things that would help me grow. My own bullshit gets in the way of progress/reflection. It's hard to create new patterns of being, when the old ways no longer work, and you know they don't. It's kind of like this process I'm going through of getting rid of things that don't fit in our new place. It's been a task of letting go.

When I speak of my experiences here, and how I deal (dealt) with them, it comes from a real place. I am constantly taking my own advise, and seeking guidance from my partner in life and business. Making sacrifices is always apart of the daily struggle and together we make it work.

It's hard work to keep a positive outlook when sometimes things look bleak, or you're feeling defeated. But then those small moments of clarity come, and it rejuvenates me. It gives me hope, even if for a short while. Giving up is never an option, but sometimes, I do want to hide under a rock. Then, I realize that everything will still be there, once I'm out from below my rock. How does one deal with oneself and everything around her? Sadly, I've fallen off that wagon. What works best for me is exercise and a healthy diet. Today, I dedicated myself to that change. When I eat healthy (less red meat, more fruits and veggies, and no complex sugars), and exercise, my mind, body and soul feel better. I am able to communicate better, as well as feel good about myself. Anything worth doing is going to be hard, so grin and bear it. My mantra. Praying, meditation and quiet time, also do the trick. And I often "don't have time" to do those things, but it's an important part of my being to find my inner peace everyday. 

One of my "happy places" is doing photography

If you get anything from my blogs, I hope it's inspiration. Know that you are not alone in your struggles. Whether you're an entrepreneur, 9-5-er, stay at home parent, or student, we all have the same struggles in one form or another. It's important for us to be compassionate, loving and honest to ourselves and those around us. 

Till next time, do something loving for yourself.

Follow @Cr84empowerment

Visual Teasers 3

It's been a long time since I've been able to do a blog. It's been a little crazy with opening up The Tracks and working on the businesses full time. It's never an easy task to make the move from working full-time for others to working full-time for yourself. It's pertinent to success to stay level headed, don't be discouraged and always maintain a level of maturity. I've had to grow up a little to stay on top of my game. I admit that I am a little bit of a brat. I often have to check myself back into the game and leave that little girl where she belongs...in the past. :) We all have things we must work on.

The Tracks, in progress.

That being said, I have not had time to write my blog. It's a luxury that we couldn't afford. Time is money and when it's not, I'm sleeping. Okay, not that serious, but when I'm exhausted it's hard to write (let alone communicate). So today, I have a couple exciting things for you!

First, is I was able to do another photo shoot for my photo essay on Multicultural women in the Bay Area. I was honored to be able to photograph another entreprenuer. We met through a mutual acquaintance and ever since we've stayed in contact. If you're into Pachuca culture, you'll not only appreciate the photos, but also her business, Pachuca Cosmetics. Besides my Hello Kitty Mac makeup, this is my go-to beauty supplies. 

This Kali Goddess, in her true nature, was down for anything, even getting up at the butt-crack of dawn! Hoping for a sunrise, but instead got some beautiful morning light. Enjoy these visual teasers!

Our location, early morning.

Kali is almost always shown with skulls. The cornstalks are representative of this Goddess' ancestors.

Kali always adorns skulls.

I am still looking for other cultures to be represented in this photo essay. If you feel connected to your culture and want to share it with others in a spiritually artistic way, please contact me!

Till next time, which I hope is not too long from now. Enjoy yourself. Do something that give you happiness and share it with someone who deserved it!

Fåshion for Empowerment

I've realized, through blogging, that I enjoy writing. In high school I served on the high school newspaper. My writing was not always published due to content. Now, since having your own blog is free, I write to my heart's content, and EVERYTHING gets published. 

I recently made it to the second round of Lucky's Lifestyle Contributor contest. Please check out  my submission and vote for me! I appreciate all the support I receive from my readers and If I can reach 25+ votes, I will post a photo from my recent photo shoot. Not an eye-teaser either...a full image photo. Think cornstalks and pachuca.

Till next time, go out side and enjoy nature!

One of the photos from the photo shoot for the Lucky article. My boo took them!

Chubbz, our English Bulldog, got in on the action, too!

Starting your own business

I've had many jobs. I've worked since I was 14 and each job I got was a step towards making more money and having more skills. I've worked at Sanrio (Hello Kitty), Jiffy Lube, as a telephone operator, data entry, sandwich maker, secretary, sales assistant...the list goes on. After many long years of working for others, and then meeting my partner in life and business, I realized that I didn't have to work for others. I could work for myself, doing what I enjoy! 

A photo I took for Eternia's last mixtape ablum. This is me doing one of the things I love...taking photos!

I believe that small business will help save our country. Every business started out as an idea, and then grew into something bigger. Apple, McDonalds, Obey, all started out as an idea, and, with the help of others, initiative and funding, created a worldwide known business (not to mention mucho dinero). 

When we first started Divine Orchid, we had a different name, and we started out doing custom dresses. Here is a photo from our first fashion show!

Everyone has the ability to have their own business, but it takes hard work, dedication and creativity. Don't worry about the "bad" economy. It's only bad for those who do not know how to create something out of nothing. Think outside the box and be positive about your situation. (Don't let those voices in your head, talk you out of it!)


First things, first. Do you have a business idea? Big or small, an idea takes time to flourish. Ladies, a great place to start is Woman's Initiative. 

Woman's Initiative Refresh & Renew Event.
Graduate Leadership Council 09-10

"Women's Initiative for Self Employment is a Bay Area non-profit which provides high-potential, lower-income women the training, resources and on-going support to start and grow their business. The business management training, technical assistance, and financial services we provide — in English and Spanish — improve the quality of life for the women we serve, their families and our communities." 


I am an alumni of the program. I was apart of the first English speaking class in San Jose. Now they have their own building and a long list of woman entrepreneurs! The program consists of two classes a week (3 hours a day) for 11 weeks. It also includes homework and it's only $100! This class is a great introduction to help you think and begin to start your own business. It will give you basic knowledge of the laws, marketing and putting together a business plan (which is needed to graduate from the program). But it doesn't stop there. They also offer continued training and connect events, which introduce you to other woman entrepreneurs in the area that have successful businesses, or help run them. 


Now is the time. Every great life move takes sacrifice. Excuses will always be there. Take a chance, believe in yourself and good things will come. Here is a small list of woman who took the chance and Woman's Initiative helped them along the way:


Nica Celly: one of my favorite local designers. 
Wholesome Hounds: tasty treats for the dogs we love!
Positive Diana: empowering women through workshops and self growth (find her on Facebook!)
The Auxiliary Group: Personal Assistant and Concierge 
California Solar Screens: Solar Screen Company
Happy Girl Kitchen: Organic foods and workshops


Till next time, do one things that scares you a day!

Going for Tea

Golden Gate Bridge. View from Golden Gate Park. By: H. Ehrlich

One of the many things I love about doing art is that it's like meditation. When I am focused in on the art I am doing, I am calm, enjoying myself and free. I am only restricted by my own fears and insecurities. When I rise to the occasions, and not allow those things to get in my way, my artwork thrives, shoot, I thrive. In business it's the same way. When I do not allow my fear of achieving my goals get the best of me, I kick ass. I also am learning to become a better sales person, which means I have to let go of my insecurities of not being the stereotypical salesman. I have to learn to either be okay with my random awkward moments, or stop them from happening (which tend to happen when I'm nervous). I have to believe in my ability to sell my product or service, because it's okay to be assertive about what your passionate about. It's a daily struggle.

Lily Pads. Taken by my man's 6 year old sister!

I have my days, even moments,  where I don't feel like trying. It's so much easier to deal with things with aggression (aka anger). Any day I am subject to my anger. It sometimes permeates within me, and I react without "thinking". I am constantly trying to get it under control. To tell you honesty, it is my greatest weakness. I'm still trying to figure out how to tame it. 

Monterey Bay Aquarium. by: H. Ehrlich

When thinking about what to write for the blog, I thought about a conversation I had with a fellow woman in business. She said she was having a tough week, but realized it was all for her growth in the end. We both have similar focus' in different fields. We believe in the empowerment of women. She decided to create a workshop to discuss what one of her struggles is. She said it best when she said, it feels good to be vulnerable with people whom you trust and share a mutual experience. In that idea, I thought I'd write, briefly, about what one of my struggles is. I often feel ashamed and frustrated with myself for my anger. I realize that it's going to take some ganas and swallowing of pride, to help me tame the monster.

It's an evolution of self  By: H. Ehrlich

Till next week, tame your own monster, then take it out for tea.

Visual Teasers. Part II

We met, we talked, we photographed. Kali is always full of wonder and surprises. She came ready with props and we were off on our journey of visual storytelling...

Till next time...smile often and feel your greatness.

Always in Creation

My man and I are in the process of opening up an urban boutique and muralist supply spot, here in San Jose. The art space is currently a "graffiti yard",  and we've been having artists from all over the Bay roll through and bless our walls. It's an amazing process. I've been photographing the space since we first moved in. It's good for the soul to see a beautiful piece of artwork up, then painted over, and another, equally beautiful piece, to replace it. It's a good practice in letting go and allowing other good things come into your life. Our new space, named "The Tracks", is a testament to that. It's us letting go (we decided I would quit my teaching job and work full-time on the business), and allowing this to come into our life. The last day of my job, we got the keys to The Tracks!

The keys!

The entrance.

We have a loft! My office will be up there. SWEET.

Quitting my job allowed me to relax on a level where I have extra energy to spare. I have more time to devote to my photo essay, and do art that I've been meaning to get to. It also means I make more connects with people and family. It's been a blessings.  It's also been very liberating and eye opening. It's the reminder that, I have the power to achieve greatness. Understanding and harnessing that energy is very powerful, it's almost overwhelming. But, it has enabled me to find the best part of me, in me, everyday.

Close up of a piece at The Tracks. By Carlos Rodriguez

I think back to times when I was not feeling so empowered, and it's great to validate me. I have to always be in the process of evolving and being aware of my space in the world. That is what much of my photo essay is about. Women taking a moment to validate themselves in the present while acknowledging the past. Our pasts, dictate who we are now (positive or negative), and it's up to use to use that knowledge, that experience, into something positive. I was reminded of this at my last Goddess meeting. It was a reminder about people's resilience to overcome any obstacles, and, more so, how many of us share these obstacles, these tests, that make us who we are today. The woman that I've spoken to, all have something in common besides their sex, they are being the woman they've always wanted to be.

A piece at The Tracks that is no longer there. By Carlos Rodriguez

I am excited for the upcoming photo shoots and opening of The Tracks. Stay tuned, cause ya'll are invited to the opening!

You got the FIRST online sneak peak. I take care of ya'll!

Till next time, smile often and breath deeply. <3

Memories, Reminders and Life

Remember a couple posts ago I told you I *may* one day share my poem with you? Well, whether you remember or not, you're in for a special treat!

Some eye candy. Art by Artist One, Color and yours truly.

I need reminders to keep me on my track of happiness and balance. We all stumble and fall, and it's up to us to pick ourselves back up and start again. The book, "The Little Engine that Could" comes to mind. When I have these moments of "ah-HA" and bring myself back to my happy place, art comes from those times. This poem came from some research I was doing for my photo documentary on Women in Hip Hop. I was reading Joan Morgan's "When Chickheads Come Home to Roost: My Life as a Hip Hop Feminist". My "ah-HA" moment came from me realizing why the word Feminism by itself was not a comfortable label for me. It came with all kind of other innuendos that I was sick and tired of hearing about. After reading Morgan's book, this is what I had to say.

Contemplating where I belong in a society where my actions, sometimes labeled as feminist, move me to scream and kick yelling, "MY FEMINISM IS MINE TO DEFINE!".

I let my cleave see the sun and my heals click on the pavement, as I embrace my feminine side without loosing the power to control my life.

Learning to be vulnerable as I process and change my lack of effective communication, why must I dwell in the affliction of the womb which I once descended?

Seeking harmony where I sometimes loose myself in relationships where I cover my insecurities with passionate love for my man, but keeping myself at a safe distance so I can act out my emotions, and not take responsibility for the loss of my emotional control. 

To be with me is a fatal blessings...my passionate love and high expectations for myself as well as you...my partner, lover, friend...

Can you be strong for me, while I'm strong for you?

I try not to hold onto my fear as a shield, but those fears manifest themselves into the confusion of life and past behaviors surface.

I must separate myself from those that crutch my love, as my crutches can only fit me.

Trying not to drown in my strength, for my weakness is fearing the side of me that needs another.

I can feel whole without someone by my side, but why should I void out companionship if I live to love?

Fueling my desire to be seen and heard without being judged by my clothes, my politics, my education...understanding that I am a woman to be reckoned with, I do deserve the love and understanding of a good man.

We can be mirrors of each other as we navigate life. 

As Jill Scott once said, "Let's take a long walk," for our movement will break barriers of what it means to be known as one, improving on the relations of our cultures, our genders, our love...

Let's build on the love that is needed to produce the family that hold sacred our ancestors struggle.

For our resistance to the status-quo will stimulate our development of our youth to breed consciousness.

No longer wanting to bear the scars of our parent's choices, we'll swim freely remembering our times as muses to those once loved, as we create history for our children to cultivate into beings that do not fear love, faith and passion, let them bask in the blessings of Yemaya, and let us see the truth in the matters of the divine.

I am living without regret, but the love of a good man is hard to forget.

I pray that some day we'll find ourselves in this world that remembers pain as a medal, but fears the scars of the soul.

Being vulnerable to the elements dose not make us worthy, for our worth in s in the wisdom we derive from our pain.

Dedicated to my lover, partner, and best friend...te quiero mucho. Till next time, love, love, love.

Our NEW art space and soon to be boutique!

Visual Teasers. Part 1 of many...

I had the first photo shoot for my photo essay. It was a magical experience. Truthfully, in the morning, I had a little anxiety. It's been more than a couple years since I last did a photo project for me. Taking photographs brings me joy, and with film it was also a surprise. Shooting with a digital camera was a whole new experience. I took photos to my hearts content, and because of that, I have more photographs to choose from for the final work of art.

BIG shout out my model, who I'm choosing to call "Sankofa" because she embodies three of the main Goddess archetypes. She's a Goddess in her own right. Here is the story of our meeting of ancestors...

Our on location shoot was brought full circle when Sankofa stated that she used to live down the street. It was a very different life for her. It probably brought back memories she wasn't trying to think about and maybe even reminded her why she lives her life the way she does. It is important for us to connect with our roots, even if it brings us pain. We must face the past to recreate the future and we must do so with ganas and the willingness to make changes. We have within us the strength to overcome obstacles and remove the barriers that stop us from being happy.

The following are sneak peaks into the story we're telling about our lives' past and present.

 

Till next time...enjoy yourself and always believe in your ability to achieve greatness!

Everyday Happiness

I'm reading a book called The Art of Everyday Ectasy, by Margot Anand. I was reminded of one of the reasons I started this photo essay in the first place...

"How did we lose our reverence for Gaia, for her wonderful sensuality and her graceful fertility? How did we lose the sense of pride in our sexuality, the knowledge  of our bodies as holy and of sexuality as the sacred foundation of life itself? How did we get the bliss of eros, of Aphrodite and Adonis, to the notion of original sin and the expulsion of Adam and Eve from the Garden? And how did we arrive at the unholy and anti-ecstatic trinity of guilt, shame and judgment that has held us in bondage for millennia? In other words, how did we murder ecstasy?"

As I'm writing this I realize that I have Gaia as my background for my computer.

You can say that my female empowerment "kick" came from my parents allowing me to dress myself from a young age (think Punky Brewester), and having two parents who always stood up for what they believed in. As I grew older,  empowerment became a way to deal with my and my friends' teenage situations. Too many of them needed a voice. As an artist, my voice was put into my photographs and poetry. I also lacked the fear for speaking up for what I believed in. I was often called on to be the voice for the voiceless. Even in middle school I had priorities for justice. I had a Save the Earth Club and often donated my money to save acres of rainforests or whales.  In high school it was safer sex and AIDS awareness and education. I am proud to say I probably stopped some teenagers from becoming parents.

I lived on my own as a senior in high school and I always had more than one job. I was dealing with my parent's separation and "growing-up". I partied hard and often. I met many people from different backgrounds, and had a variety of jobs from Jiffy Lube, an answering service and a Santa Claus booth. I did things the hard way, often. But I always pushed myself to do and be more. When I knew I needed a change, I did what it took to make it happen. That is how I found Public Allies. I served my time and got back on track. I even got into UCSC after (Go Banana Slugs!).

Public Allies Silicon Valley, graduating class of 2005

As I got older the situations for empowerment changed. I wasn't okay with being called a feminist (what my actions and beliefs were called), and found it harder to find that excitement and faith. Still making bad choices, and dismissing my emotional turmoil, I created. I did a photo documentary on Women in Hip Hop, based on the roles that women in hip hop get to choose from, and the women that break them. It was for my final at UCSC (btw, my major is no longer. VIVA Community Studies!!).  I did my research in some books and articles and sort of did an ethnography on the young woman that I taught photography to in Brooklyn. It was photography and media literacy, and they had to have a photo documentary at the end of the summer on women's issues in their neighborhoods. We had a showing of their photographs in the Empire State Building!! It was awesome!

 The ladies from the summer program, offered by Girls for Gender Equity.

Photography has always been apart of my life. I am a third generation photographer (my grandpa, dad and now me!) and I've done some pretty awesome photographs. I've even had some great photo jobs. With so much fear and doubt, I was never really able to "close the deal" to my photography career.

One day, while doing some reading for my photo documentary, I had an epiphany. I knew what I needed to say, and do. I wrote, and I wrote. I even found a label that I was comfortable with. I was no longer a feminist, I took on the label of Hip Hop Feminist (THANK YOU, Joan Morgan!). Maybe one day I'll share that poem with you. ;-)  No, I'm not going to explain what hip hop feminism is, this blog is long enough, read the book!

Photos from my photo documentary of Women in Hip Hop that was up in a gallery in Frankfort, Germany.

Fast forward to now (don't need to go too deep). My photo project is a reminder that we all stumble and fall. We have our times when we don't feel like ourselves, or have pain we don't know how to bear. It's like being lost in the woods. Some of us have the skills to stay calm and find our way, while others of us panic and freak ourselves out in thinking that we're going to die. Few of us do, but most of us find our way out, the hard and long way. The problem is, how many of us learn from our mistakes? How do we get back to our original essence of being? Being in touch with our higher selves, and with our ancestors, can give us the courage, strength and guidance we need in all parts of our life. If our masculine and feminine sides are in balance, we can reach the best part of ourselves. My photographs will show our true nature, our inner Goddesses and call on our ancestors. So join me on my journey...

Till next time, love, love, love yourself and do one thing a day that frightens you.

My alter ego, Marilyn, the penguin.