Photo Essay Continued...

Here we are, a year or so, after starting my photo essay on Multicultural Women in the Bay Area. I just re-read my first entry about it...and, well, I was not impressed. I realized I needed to re-evaluate and re-write that entry and move forward! (side note...click on the links! It will take you to the parts of my blog that will expand more on what I am speaking about)

This photo essay, like many things in life, has taken on a mind of it's own! To re-cap, for those of you new to what I am speaking of; the goal of the photo essay is to capture women in their Goddess essence, while being apart of everyday American lifestyle. I will do this by creating connections with our personal Goddess and cultures, to reveal the complexity of our cross-culture experiences and how reconnecting to our ancestors' rituals we can connect with our high selves. I will paint with film. If women were/are interested, I had them answer the following questions, and take the survey:

1. How do you stay connected to your heritage?
2. Tell me six words that describe you.
3. Take this survey, look under the notes tab.

As I sitting here thinking about the essay, I realized that I am surrounded by many Kali's.  So, do I make the essay about Kali and her place in American Society? Or do I just take more photos? Take more photos, of course! But I must also realize that something in our American Society creates more Kali's than Aphrodite's or Hecates.

Kali. Hindu Goddess. Creator & Destroyer.

 If you're interested, or want more information, please email me (do.creations408@gmail.com)! I am looking for a few more Goddess to be apart of my essay. I will have my FIRST solo show next year, exhibiting these photos.

Remember to honor your Goddess everyday!

Visual Teasers 3

It's been a long time since I've been able to do a blog. It's been a little crazy with opening up The Tracks and working on the businesses full time. It's never an easy task to make the move from working full-time for others to working full-time for yourself. It's pertinent to success to stay level headed, don't be discouraged and always maintain a level of maturity. I've had to grow up a little to stay on top of my game. I admit that I am a little bit of a brat. I often have to check myself back into the game and leave that little girl where she belongs...in the past. :) We all have things we must work on.

The Tracks, in progress.

That being said, I have not had time to write my blog. It's a luxury that we couldn't afford. Time is money and when it's not, I'm sleeping. Okay, not that serious, but when I'm exhausted it's hard to write (let alone communicate). So today, I have a couple exciting things for you!

First, is I was able to do another photo shoot for my photo essay on Multicultural women in the Bay Area. I was honored to be able to photograph another entreprenuer. We met through a mutual acquaintance and ever since we've stayed in contact. If you're into Pachuca culture, you'll not only appreciate the photos, but also her business, Pachuca Cosmetics. Besides my Hello Kitty Mac makeup, this is my go-to beauty supplies. 

This Kali Goddess, in her true nature, was down for anything, even getting up at the butt-crack of dawn! Hoping for a sunrise, but instead got some beautiful morning light. Enjoy these visual teasers!

Our location, early morning.

Kali is almost always shown with skulls. The cornstalks are representative of this Goddess' ancestors.

Kali always adorns skulls.

I am still looking for other cultures to be represented in this photo essay. If you feel connected to your culture and want to share it with others in a spiritually artistic way, please contact me!

Till next time, which I hope is not too long from now. Enjoy yourself. Do something that give you happiness and share it with someone who deserved it!

Visual Teasers. Part II

We met, we talked, we photographed. Kali is always full of wonder and surprises. She came ready with props and we were off on our journey of visual storytelling...

Till next time...smile often and feel your greatness.

Memories, Reminders and Life

Remember a couple posts ago I told you I *may* one day share my poem with you? Well, whether you remember or not, you're in for a special treat!

Some eye candy. Art by Artist One, Color and yours truly.

I need reminders to keep me on my track of happiness and balance. We all stumble and fall, and it's up to us to pick ourselves back up and start again. The book, "The Little Engine that Could" comes to mind. When I have these moments of "ah-HA" and bring myself back to my happy place, art comes from those times. This poem came from some research I was doing for my photo documentary on Women in Hip Hop. I was reading Joan Morgan's "When Chickheads Come Home to Roost: My Life as a Hip Hop Feminist". My "ah-HA" moment came from me realizing why the word Feminism by itself was not a comfortable label for me. It came with all kind of other innuendos that I was sick and tired of hearing about. After reading Morgan's book, this is what I had to say.

Contemplating where I belong in a society where my actions, sometimes labeled as feminist, move me to scream and kick yelling, "MY FEMINISM IS MINE TO DEFINE!".

I let my cleave see the sun and my heals click on the pavement, as I embrace my feminine side without loosing the power to control my life.

Learning to be vulnerable as I process and change my lack of effective communication, why must I dwell in the affliction of the womb which I once descended?

Seeking harmony where I sometimes loose myself in relationships where I cover my insecurities with passionate love for my man, but keeping myself at a safe distance so I can act out my emotions, and not take responsibility for the loss of my emotional control. 

To be with me is a fatal blessings...my passionate love and high expectations for myself as well as you...my partner, lover, friend...

Can you be strong for me, while I'm strong for you?

I try not to hold onto my fear as a shield, but those fears manifest themselves into the confusion of life and past behaviors surface.

I must separate myself from those that crutch my love, as my crutches can only fit me.

Trying not to drown in my strength, for my weakness is fearing the side of me that needs another.

I can feel whole without someone by my side, but why should I void out companionship if I live to love?

Fueling my desire to be seen and heard without being judged by my clothes, my politics, my education...understanding that I am a woman to be reckoned with, I do deserve the love and understanding of a good man.

We can be mirrors of each other as we navigate life. 

As Jill Scott once said, "Let's take a long walk," for our movement will break barriers of what it means to be known as one, improving on the relations of our cultures, our genders, our love...

Let's build on the love that is needed to produce the family that hold sacred our ancestors struggle.

For our resistance to the status-quo will stimulate our development of our youth to breed consciousness.

No longer wanting to bear the scars of our parent's choices, we'll swim freely remembering our times as muses to those once loved, as we create history for our children to cultivate into beings that do not fear love, faith and passion, let them bask in the blessings of Yemaya, and let us see the truth in the matters of the divine.

I am living without regret, but the love of a good man is hard to forget.

I pray that some day we'll find ourselves in this world that remembers pain as a medal, but fears the scars of the soul.

Being vulnerable to the elements dose not make us worthy, for our worth in s in the wisdom we derive from our pain.

Dedicated to my lover, partner, and best friend...te quiero mucho. Till next time, love, love, love.

Our NEW art space and soon to be boutique!

Visual Teasers. Part 1 of many...

I had the first photo shoot for my photo essay. It was a magical experience. Truthfully, in the morning, I had a little anxiety. It's been more than a couple years since I last did a photo project for me. Taking photographs brings me joy, and with film it was also a surprise. Shooting with a digital camera was a whole new experience. I took photos to my hearts content, and because of that, I have more photographs to choose from for the final work of art.

BIG shout out my model, who I'm choosing to call "Sankofa" because she embodies three of the main Goddess archetypes. She's a Goddess in her own right. Here is the story of our meeting of ancestors...

Our on location shoot was brought full circle when Sankofa stated that she used to live down the street. It was a very different life for her. It probably brought back memories she wasn't trying to think about and maybe even reminded her why she lives her life the way she does. It is important for us to connect with our roots, even if it brings us pain. We must face the past to recreate the future and we must do so with ganas and the willingness to make changes. We have within us the strength to overcome obstacles and remove the barriers that stop us from being happy.

The following are sneak peaks into the story we're telling about our lives' past and present.

 

Till next time...enjoy yourself and always believe in your ability to achieve greatness!

Everyday Happiness

I'm reading a book called The Art of Everyday Ectasy, by Margot Anand. I was reminded of one of the reasons I started this photo essay in the first place...

"How did we lose our reverence for Gaia, for her wonderful sensuality and her graceful fertility? How did we lose the sense of pride in our sexuality, the knowledge  of our bodies as holy and of sexuality as the sacred foundation of life itself? How did we get the bliss of eros, of Aphrodite and Adonis, to the notion of original sin and the expulsion of Adam and Eve from the Garden? And how did we arrive at the unholy and anti-ecstatic trinity of guilt, shame and judgment that has held us in bondage for millennia? In other words, how did we murder ecstasy?"

As I'm writing this I realize that I have Gaia as my background for my computer.

You can say that my female empowerment "kick" came from my parents allowing me to dress myself from a young age (think Punky Brewester), and having two parents who always stood up for what they believed in. As I grew older,  empowerment became a way to deal with my and my friends' teenage situations. Too many of them needed a voice. As an artist, my voice was put into my photographs and poetry. I also lacked the fear for speaking up for what I believed in. I was often called on to be the voice for the voiceless. Even in middle school I had priorities for justice. I had a Save the Earth Club and often donated my money to save acres of rainforests or whales.  In high school it was safer sex and AIDS awareness and education. I am proud to say I probably stopped some teenagers from becoming parents.

I lived on my own as a senior in high school and I always had more than one job. I was dealing with my parent's separation and "growing-up". I partied hard and often. I met many people from different backgrounds, and had a variety of jobs from Jiffy Lube, an answering service and a Santa Claus booth. I did things the hard way, often. But I always pushed myself to do and be more. When I knew I needed a change, I did what it took to make it happen. That is how I found Public Allies. I served my time and got back on track. I even got into UCSC after (Go Banana Slugs!).

Public Allies Silicon Valley, graduating class of 2005

As I got older the situations for empowerment changed. I wasn't okay with being called a feminist (what my actions and beliefs were called), and found it harder to find that excitement and faith. Still making bad choices, and dismissing my emotional turmoil, I created. I did a photo documentary on Women in Hip Hop, based on the roles that women in hip hop get to choose from, and the women that break them. It was for my final at UCSC (btw, my major is no longer. VIVA Community Studies!!).  I did my research in some books and articles and sort of did an ethnography on the young woman that I taught photography to in Brooklyn. It was photography and media literacy, and they had to have a photo documentary at the end of the summer on women's issues in their neighborhoods. We had a showing of their photographs in the Empire State Building!! It was awesome!

 The ladies from the summer program, offered by Girls for Gender Equity.

Photography has always been apart of my life. I am a third generation photographer (my grandpa, dad and now me!) and I've done some pretty awesome photographs. I've even had some great photo jobs. With so much fear and doubt, I was never really able to "close the deal" to my photography career.

One day, while doing some reading for my photo documentary, I had an epiphany. I knew what I needed to say, and do. I wrote, and I wrote. I even found a label that I was comfortable with. I was no longer a feminist, I took on the label of Hip Hop Feminist (THANK YOU, Joan Morgan!). Maybe one day I'll share that poem with you. ;-)  No, I'm not going to explain what hip hop feminism is, this blog is long enough, read the book!

Photos from my photo documentary of Women in Hip Hop that was up in a gallery in Frankfort, Germany.

Fast forward to now (don't need to go too deep). My photo project is a reminder that we all stumble and fall. We have our times when we don't feel like ourselves, or have pain we don't know how to bear. It's like being lost in the woods. Some of us have the skills to stay calm and find our way, while others of us panic and freak ourselves out in thinking that we're going to die. Few of us do, but most of us find our way out, the hard and long way. The problem is, how many of us learn from our mistakes? How do we get back to our original essence of being? Being in touch with our higher selves, and with our ancestors, can give us the courage, strength and guidance we need in all parts of our life. If our masculine and feminine sides are in balance, we can reach the best part of ourselves. My photographs will show our true nature, our inner Goddesses and call on our ancestors. So join me on my journey...

Till next time, love, love, love yourself and do one thing a day that frightens you.

My alter ego, Marilyn, the penguin.

Meet the Goddess'

Every week I've been meaning to do a blog. Each week went by and I guess I didn't really have anything to say. I'm happy to say, I have words! The photo essay is building momentum and I'm excited to have some shoots coming up soon!

The fabulous woman I have met have manifested into these Goddesses.

Kali

Kali is the destroyer and creator, she is not a woman to mess with. Today's Kali is a business woman. She knows what she wants and she does what she needs to get it done. She is beautiful, strong, intelligent and family bonds are tight. She remembers and keeps sacred the sacrifices her family and ancestors have done before her, and culture is an important part of her life. Her style is unique and sexy, and her business is a reflection of all of that.

 Pachuca Cosmetics is Kali's business.

Sailor Hecate, Dead Moon Senshi. Dedicated to my friend, Sara (another amazing artist!)

Today's Hecate is still spiritual and connected to her Goddess roots. She works with computers during the day and moonlights as a Priestess. Alters decorate her home, giving homage to Goddesses in all aspects of life. Friendly animals, friends and family bless her home, and her love for art and bees keeps her happy.

 Sankofa. A symbol that means, "it is not wrong to go back for that which you have forgotten".

I choose to use this symbol to represent the first Goddess that helped inspire the photo-shoot because she stated that her connection to it is strong and it fit perfectly into the overall theme. She doesn't just embody one Goddess, she embodies Kali, Hecate and Aphrodite in one. She is the destroyer and the creator, spiritually connected and knows love and beauty beyond the physical form. She keeps her ancestors and roots close and works hard everyday to bring that light onto others. She stays true to herself and knows the time and place for fun and seriousness.

I am overwhelmed with the positive response I have received for this photo essay. I am excited to take the photographs and look forward to sharing them with you.

Till next time, love yourself a little more everyday!

Kali. Creator & Destroyer

Kali is a Hindu Goddess, and her roots go far back in time. She was first heard of in 400 A.D. She is a creator and a destroyer, she is not one to mess with. Although she is now a Hindu goddess, she predates the Hindu religion. Her origins in Hinduism are from the great goddess Durga-in one legend she springs from Durga's forehead to help her defeat her enemies. She is known as the forceful aspect of the Durga, and appears in legends of battles as a bloodthirsty and ruthless fighter in her destroyer aspect.

Goddess Kali 1770

However, the other side of destruction is creation, and in her creative aspect Kali is credited with creating the Sanskrit alphabet and painting the symbols which is written on the skulls that hang around her neck. By creating Sanskrit, the forerunner of Indo-European languages, she brings a whole new world of experience into being.

My goddess energy is Kali. After many years of learning about myself, my capabilities and my weaknesses, I have been able to find my inner most goddess. I no longer fear my ability to be and do greatness. I live the way I see fit for myself and those I love. It's interesting that my goddess energy can be misinterpreted as one of evil destruction. I think of it as, it takes a lot of fight to accomplish your goals, you have to learn to either live with yourself, or keep creating better versions of yourself. You can say I am constantly "killing" the versions of myself that I see unhealthy, or needing to grow. Like Kali I am unafraid of the darkness in my nature. I understand how it may come off to others, but I understand that darkness can bring many other things, seeds of life grow in the darkness. Kali is the archetype of the powerful mother, she creates life within her body, but will kill without mercy to protect her young. It's a balance that Kali, and Aphrodite alike, struggle with. Living outside of societies norms, to live out what makes you breath, can sometimes makes other uncomfortable, and at times, I am guilty of not being aware of my power and it's affect on others. 

 In my photo essay I want to have a conversation with the viewer about these balances we face. We are Americans, but have ties to other places and cultures, and still want to stay connected to our Mother Land. Whether we participate in cultural rites, or immerse ourselves in the ever changing cultures of our own community, we always need to harness the part of ourselves that makes us amazing beings with the ability to birth life. It's not always easy, especially with the demands of today's society. We are constantly divided by our financial, race, gender, education, family structure, etc, so we are ever morphing and changing to meet the demands of everyday life. But we still find those moments of peace, tranquility and light. I will recreate those moments, vintage film camera in hand. So come with me on this journey. Meet some of these amazing women, who's goddess energies come from Aphrodite, Diana the Hunter, Demeter, Athena, Hecate, and Kali. You'll meet them here on this blog and get to go on my adventure of bringing the goddess to the concrete jungle.

Make it a great week! Remember to breath and smile often.